My first mistake was wearing flip flops in 39 degree weather. In my defense, the sun was out and with toddlers, I have no idea what’s happening in the outside world. But also, I’m from the midwest and we wear shorts in the dead of winter. Well, mostly just 13 year old boys, but still.

I somehow kicked the back of Lucy’s boot on our way into the Children’s Museum. My pinky toe stung so bad, I thought I lost my toe nail. I looked down. Still there. Not even chipped.


We went inside. A few times, after pretending to eat Lucy’s fresh wooden pizza, I’d feel a little sting. I gave my toe a good look. Toenail in place. All looks normal. Whatever.

Fast forward to Poppy pooping through her diaper, it smearing on my forearm and Lucy throwing a tantrum when I told her we had to leave ASAP – we finally made it home and I thought I had gauze or something fluffy stuck to my toe.

OHMYGHERD! It was a giant purple pork sausage! What? How? WHY?

Suddenly it throbbed so bad, I could barely stand on it. I laid on the couch and lifted it up in the air. It had its own pulse. I texted Rob and warned him of my prognosis.

Bring home Chipotle and call the doctor –  toe amputation possible.

Cool. Want guac?

But here’s what’s weird. It initially hurt so bad, I thought I lost a toenail. When I perceived it as looking normal, the pain subsided and I barely felt any discomfort for hours.

Once it registered that I had actually injured it badly, the pain was so intense, I told Rob that if I don’t survive the amputation, I wanted him to remarry and find happiness. (since redacted)

My point, and I do have one: If you give your brain something to freak about it, it’ll freak. It’ll bring the pain and worry and panic and stress down like a thunderclap.

But –

If you let it know “Whatever dude, it’s no big deal. God’ll handle it. Look around – I live an amazing life! Who can complain?” Your brain’ll be like – “Cool. Enjoy your day then. Hey, is that poop on your forearm?”

I guess what I’m saying is – be careful what you tell your brain. It takes its cue from you, not the other way around.


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