TALK WITH TODDLERS AT YOUR OWN RISK
ME: Poppy, how come you don’t like Jumping for Jesus? (Yes, at her preschool (at a church), they have a bounce house called Jumping for Jesus. Yes, the teachers casually refer to it as if it’s not hilarious and I laugh every time I hear it and then taper my laughter into a cough as I realize no one else thinks it’s as funny as I do).
POPPY: Because it’s scary! All the kids bump into me!
ME: Oh my! They do? Yes, I bet it’s a bit bumpy in there. So instead of jumping, I heard you watched Mickey’s Clubhouse with another little boy instead. What was his name?
POPPY: Yeah! I watch Mickey with Eeeshen. He has brown hair!
ME: Oh he does? His name is Ethan?
POPPY: No, Eeeeeshan.
POPPY: No. Eeeeeeshen.
POPPY: NO NO NO! EESHEN!
ME: Watch your tone, little lady! That’s what Daddy just said, we’re doing the best we can with what we got here. One more time, nice and slow … what was it?
POPPY: Mickey Mouse!
ME: No, no. The boy with the brown hair.
POPPY: He doesn’t have brown hair, he has big black ears!
ME: Rob pass me my phone, I need to get this handled.
If you want to know how this ends, read the comments in this thread. PLOT TWIST.