I feel like my title pretty much gave away the climax on this post, but I’m going to keep going anyway.

It’s true, I’m writing a book. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but like all of my dieting endeavors, I keep pushing it off until Monday.

I’ve also debated running some psychological tests on myself because announcing I’m writing a book when I’m going to have my first baby in 1.5 months is something a disturbed person would do to punish themselves. It reminds me of the time I paid top dollar to be in a boot camp and as I was throwing up off the sidewalk I thought to myself, Wait – I actually signed up for this crap?

But, it’s time to declare it and in my heart, it is so. We all get those calls to do something. Maybe a nudge, maybe a whisper, maybe a dutch oven lands on your foot with a note inside that says, “DO IT NOW (my bad about breaking your toe off – put it in ice and call 911.)” But time restraints, unpreparedness, self-doubt, among countless other things (read: fear) can trick us into waiting for the perfect time. Except, there is no perfect time. It doesn’t exist. All we really have is the present, right now. And hopefully my prenatal massage appointment scheduled for next week.

I even have a title. My book will be called, “The Pregnancy Chroni-cankles.” I’ll let that just sink in for a moment …

Think What to Expect When You’re Expecting except totally irreverent with very little practical information. Of course, it will be loaded with humor, but my hope is that pregnant women and moms will treasure it as something that makes them laugh, uplifts, encourages, and gives them a true sense that all of their hemorrhoids aren’t for not. They’re just little obstacle courses to test our endurance and will to live.

Hold on, I like that line – writing it down for the book …

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Maybe one person will love it, maybe one million. It doesn’t really matter, believe it or not. The house still has to be cleaned eventually, even if no one notices. Sure, you might get pissed your family waltzes right in and puts their feet on the freshly polished coffee table without realizing all you’ve done, but your call is just one of those things that has to be be accomplished, regardless of the outcome.

And let me tell you, if you don’t answer it, your call will keep ringing … and ringing …

I’ve always wanted to write a book and for the longest time this book (it was also just one more reason my multiple miscarriages were terrifying – it was the loss of so many things and possibly, a dream). But, instead, I wanted to wait. Until HaHas for HooHas was big enough. Or, until I started my own space (like this blog) and it started to take steam. Or, until my child was old enough to turn on the TV and grab their own snacks from the pantry.

There will always be lots of “Ors.”

If there’s something you know deep down you need to do – do it. Declare it. Breath it in to life – make it so. If it’s hard (it will be hard), we can just cry about it later – but for now, we need to answer the call.

So be on the lookout, my friends. The Pregnancy Chroni-cankles is coming to a book store near you! Or a cheap online download. Or in a box out of my trunk. But it’s coming, people!

And can I just say one last thing? Thank you for hanging out with me. I would be so lonely without you.