“Cherish every moment, it goes by so fast.”

Not fast enough, honestly.

It’s a sweet and well meaning turn of phrase, but it stresses some of us out a little. It’s hard to bask in the bliss while simultaneously responding to their late night cries, dragging your limp body out of bed with a boob out.

But who am I to criticize the kind woman to say this to me? Even I caught myself wanting to say it to a new mother of a fresh baby at Target. I miss snuggling a fresh new baby! Then the infant started to do that newborn panic scream out of the blue while she was checking out and I was like, “You know what? Cherish it later. This part blows.”

But I still try. I saw a picture of the girls when we first bought our new house a year ago and clutched my chest in horror.

They were just sweet innocent babes!

It was the same feeling as when I catch a picture of the Olsen Twins in the tabloids.

WHEN? HOW? WHY?

I know it goes fast. It’s like getting a professional massage and when it’s time to turn over, instead of enjoying the experience you just feel sorry for yourself that you’re half way done.

No! Soak it all in. May this moment leave a mark on my brain that I can recall forever and ever.

Then I get to daydreaming and crap goes downhill fast.

The last time we were at the park, the girls and I were on the swings laughing and carrying on. Then I started wondering how tall Paula Abdul was. Then I fondly recalled the poster I had of her in my room where she wore leopard print gloves. Then I thought about her slurring her speech on American Idol and felt sad about it. Then I remembered that one time she got a bacterial infection from a pedicure and lost her toe nail. Then I remembered I needed to schedule my manicure appointment and that bizz better clean her tools.

And I forgot to cherish the moment! 😩

As an aside, trying to fill your phone with no less than a 2.3 gazillion photos isn’t cherishing the moment either. In fact, if you’re like me it can be quite the opposite as you start yelling, “Look at the camera! … What are you doing? … Where are you going? … Get back here! … Say cheese! … Whoops! Blurry – let’s try again … Don’t hit your sister! … Stop crying, she barely touched you … I SAID LOOK AT THE CAMERA!”

Anyhoo, the truth is – it’s impossible to cherish every moment. Dishes need cleaned and skid marks need to be stain treated and at some point we all need a nap and to have a small day dream about John Stamos.

But if you’re devoted to your family – the truth is, you may miss some – but you won’t miss it all. And what you catch, you get to keep forever.

So, whatever. It’s all good.

… That’s my theory anyway.