Water was pouring in under the door so quickly, on such rhythm, it put me in a trance. I just stood there, like a Michelangelo statue, looking at it. Pondering...

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Rob said all breathy, “but David’s in the middle of the street in his underwear, covered in blood. Should I call 911?” I was in a...

I was standing there in the coat closet, like an idiot. It was dark, cramped and my breath was making it humid. Anxiety vibrated throughout my body. The walls seemed...

If I could choose between getting a massage alone, or a couple’s massage with my husband, I’d pick alone. Every time. I don’t even have to think about it. Because...

Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” was loudly beating against the hot air flowing through my window. I was in the passenger seat of my sister’s brand new red...

The Llama Lady wore clear gloves that went all the way up to her mid bicep. I’m sure that was intentional because she was elbow deep up the Llama’s hooha....

I’m not sure how long I’ll be derided by a 4 year old, but this can’t continue on. Now she’s trying to shake down grandma. “Can I call Nani on...

What I remember the most, unfortunately, were my thighs. As I was poised in stirrups, I couldn’t get my eyes, or my mind, off them. And not attractive, long, slightly...

The fault lies at the feet of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum. I’ve been living in a fool’s paradise. My entire life, I assumed, my breath was fairly benign. Thanks to...

It’s 5:45 AM and Poppy is quietly standing by my bedside. She stares at me, like the girl from The Ring, until I wake to her presence. I get so...